My Heart, Your Home: 52 Weeks of Grateful - The Moments   

Friday 24 August 2012

52 Weeks of Grateful - The Moments


Between closing my old blog and creating this new one I had about three months where I was not writing anymore. There were many things I missed in that time about hitting that publishing button. But  two of the main things I missed where my monthly letters to Evelyn and my weekly moments of grateful.

So today, as my Daughter takes her afternoon nap and my house smells of freshly baked lemon cake, I sit in the sun with a cup of tea and I take a moment to remember to be grateful. I've had a particularly emotionally charged week. Emotions of the good, the bad and the ugly kind. Im blaming it on the pregnancy hormones... and maybe a little on my moody persona, but mostly the pregnancy.

So the thing I am most grateful for this week is moments. Moments that teach us lessons, like when to defend yourself and confront a problem, and when to walk away. Moments that show us that our self doubt is unworthy. Moments in which life proves that with every door closed, a window opens. Those moments where life surprises you, in all the right kind of ways. Moments where people surprise you, in all the right kind of ways. Moments. Life is made of moments and I cherish them, I am grateful for them.

My week has been full of moments, moments on either end of the spectrum. When I was feeling down, life would throw me an up. The best moments of all were when the people in my life proved to me that I am alright, that I am easy to love, that not everybody leaves.Those were the moments that made my heart sing and my soul shine. They were the moments that helped me realise that when something bad happens, or when a friendship nears the end, that life moves on and other areas of your life improve, drastically. With every door closed, a window is opened... as they say.

This week My Mr helped me learn that I am ok. He helped me see that regardless of my past or my present, regardless of my moments, regardless of all of that, the person I am today is a great person. He helped me to see that my life should be full of people who believe that about me and are ok with me and what I have to offer. My Mr loves me and he believes that I deserve to be loved. He will love me regardless of if I waver or falter. He will just be there, with me, never to leave.

This week my friend, the one who promised we will forever be friend, gave me a moment where I learnt that I do truly believe that sentiment. She showed me that she loved the girl she met all those years ago and today, even though we havent seen each other for almost four years, she still loves the girl I am. She made me see that people can love me for longer than a short period of time. For longer than a little while. That people dont grow out of me and leave me behind.

This week a new friend, became so much more than just a friend. She became my girlfriend, she became the girl I turn to. She became a girl that makes me laugh, in a way I haven't laughed with another girl in longer than I care to admit. She became the girl who considers me and my feelings and my moments and considers her responses and her words. She became a girlfriend who just loves me and cares about me. All in one moment, I learnt that she is what I want to surround myself with.

This week the sun came out and with it, it bought a true summers day, and on that summers day I sat on the shoreline and watch my daughter run to and fro from the waters edge. Digging in the sand. Basking in all the sun had to offer. And in that very one moment I released myself from my funk and I decided that all this moping around and feeling sorry for myself and sad for the ends in life had got to go. In that very one moment I realised that life is a glorious, beautiful thing. That it is always going to be full of ups and down, trials and tribulations, happiness and sadness, polar opposites... always. It is me who has to choose who I would like to ride this roller coaster of a life.

In that moment, sitting on that beach, I decided that the way I want to ride it is to say goodbye to things that run its natural course, welcome in the new, cherish the moments, hug the ones that I love and whom love me back. I will ride it with a (metaphorical) glass of champagne in one hand and a high five on the other. Because this life is wonderful and does not deserve to be full of moments of melancholy and mediocre. It deserves to be celebrated.

So I am grateful for the moments that made me sad, because now I have the clarity to enjoy the moments that make me dance!

***I really wish I could have that glass of champagne now!

Linking up with Maxabella

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like moments of empowerment too Jess! Clarity is a wonderful thing xx

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    Replies
    1. A very bad and emotional week ended on a great high!
      I need to learn to stop being so hard on myself and enjoy
      xxx

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